“To say nothing of the times when the Dominant/Top enjoys pushing limits, at the expense of their submissive/slave/bottom who simply endured the experience.”

Not too long ago, on a forum, someone spoke about it being part of a Dominant’s job to push the limits of his submissive. Someone else replied with the above quote and the feeling that limit pushing is over rated considering how many just endure it rather than enjoying it.

Now I”m not entirely sure where I’m going with this.

I know when I saw the above statement I immediately reacted with the thought “what’s wrong with enduring for your Dominant?”.
For me that’s a huge part of being a submissive. Enduring things for his pleasure.
But I also realize that, particularly in forums, we’re often speaking to brand, spanking, squeaky new submissives. And that, perhaps, telling them to endure the stretching and bending and even breaking of their limits right away isn’t such a good thing. That maybe it’s more important for them to become comfortable with who they are and what they enjoy before going beyond that, into the realm of uncomfortable, highly painful and potentially damaging limit pushing. And that, maybe, those of us with more experience should sometimes just shush because our opinions are, rather simply, too advanced for the newer folks.

I know I’ve had new submissives coo and cream and go gaga over my pictures and descriptions of our scenes. I’ve heard, more times than I can count, “yes, yes, THAT’S what I want”. And all I can do is shake my head because they have no idea what they’re asking for and how getting there could affect them.

I know that sounds arrogant but it’s true. What I do after more than a decade of “doing this” really isn’t suitable for newbies.
I”m well versed in my physical abilities and my physical and emotional limits and very capable when it comes to dealing with the fall out of pushing, stretching and breaking them down.
And there almost always IS fall out.

It makes me wonder how someone with experience can even guide the newer folks. After so many years you can’t even remember feeling the things the new folks feel.

I was listening to a friend last weekend. This friend does a lot of seminars and stuff, guides a lot of very new folks…
And it hit me…
What if these words, these opinions we give, that are taken as gospel so often, are WRONG for the person we’re talking to?

What if in my blogging about enduring and walking that line between sanity and falling apart as he mangles my limits screws someone UP?

I’ve been much more quiet on the forums lately.
Partly because I just can’t relate anymore.
They are so filled with new folks and I can’t find the advice they want to hear inside me. (And I just cause fights when I give them what they don’t want to hear)
But partly because I’m not so sure anymore I’m the one to be giving advice.

I’ve come too far, walked the edge for too long and am not even sure where the “line” is anymore.

What is right for me seems very wrong, somehow, for these new girls.
It’s too much, too soon.
What is right for me is pretty fucking whacked out. And in these days of internet relationships and online masochists… my advice, our way of doing and being, is bound to get someone hurt.

I don’t want to see inexperienced girls strung up and enduring before they ever have a chance to learn what feels good and where their edge, their line, actually is.

Ugh.
I started this yesterday, finished it today, and it’s really rather mad and nonsensical.
Oh well.
Maybe someone will find some sense in it.
The thoughts just aren’t all that clear in my own head.

~peace

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