I know I’ve been absent. Give me a detention. I’ve been in a slump.

I do have something for ya today, of a sorts.

A few words from Taylor, followed by a wee revelation about myself.

From Taylor the other day, posted on one of the forums over at MyDungeonSpace, on the topic of Humiliation:

“Now I am not writing this with a dictionary in hand but I feel these deffinitions should be acceptable to most if not all. To humiliate, is to force humility. What is humility? Is it the same as humbleness? No not really. Being humble is simply NOT being overly prideful.

Humility however, is knowing one’s station in life, knowing their place in all things. Knowing exactly who and what they are, and being completely content with that knowledge.

To bring that into our little deviant world, a submissive who has humility, know who she is, knows her value and knows her place. She knows what is expecte dof her and accepts those expectations. She knows her place is one of submission and subservience to her man and not only accepts that but is content with it, even revels in it.

To humiliate her, is to show her undeniably who she is, and what she is, not only to you but to the world in general.

As an example I’ll use an incident from my own life. One afternoon I got the urge to have my dick sucked. Carrie was about as far as a girl could get from being in the mood to polish the knob. However me being me, and her being her the mood she was in was not part of the equation.

So she found herself on her knees in the middle of the kitchen floor with my dick shoved down her throat. Her eyes tearing up and watering, her makeup smeared and running her hair a mess her lips bruised and cut. My dick forced into her mouth and troat. At one point I stop and grab her face look her in the eye and say something along the lines of “look at you. This is who you are, this is what you are, this is the only thing you are here for” now the wording may have been slightly different but the sentiment and statement is the same. Now did this mean that she was only there to give blow jobs? Hardly, it meant she was there to serve me, to please me, to be the object of my desires and lusts. It meant that she was mine to be used as I see fit. Something no one else is in any position to do.

That is humiliation, forcing her to have the humility, the knowledge of exactly who and what she is and forcing her to accept and be content with it, to even enjoy it and be happy with herself.

It has little to do with shame, embarrassment, or anyof the other negative connotations that society has conditioned us to associate with the word humiliation. It is in a nut shell the very thing that 90% of submissives want from their dominants. Being made completely aware of themselves, of who they are, and what they are, but most importantly what they are worth, no matter what they may or may not do.

A humiliated girl, is fucking priceless.

By dictionary deffinition humiliation shame and embarassment are pretty much kith and kin. But in a BDSM context, which is the context it’s being applied here, it has a completely different aspect.

Humilation play isn’t exactly about embarassing the submissive, it isn’t exactly about shame. it’s about reminding her of her value, no matter how filthy, how nasty, how animalistic she may behave to please her man. She is who and what she is.

At least that’s how I see it.”

Another bunch of words I feel the need to share and save.

But…

Beyond that it made me realize something.

I am a very…

Hmmm…

I need words.

I’m a reader, a writer, a speaker, a listener.

I don’t visualize well. I don’t follow hand signals well.

I get more turned on by a few choice words than by hours of foreplay.

And sometimes when I think I’m missing certain aspects of BDSM, when I think I’m craving certain things or lacking certain facets…

What I’m really missing, craving and lacking are the words.

Sometimes you can’t just do things to humiliate or use me, to control me, to punish me, to praise me, to… whatever.

Sometimes you have to tell me.

Sometimes you have to give me words.

You can’t just fuck me like I’m a whore and expect me to get it, much less get anything out of it - which I normally would cuz it’s a huge thrill for me.

Sometimes, ya need to TELL me you just used me like I’m a whore.

Does that make me stupid?

I don’t think so.

I think it just makes sure I know, exactly, what your intent and purpose was.

And…

It turns me on more.

Makes me feel more accurately.

And most definitely locks me more firmly in my place.

I’m a word whore.

How did it take me 37 years to figure this out????????????