I am repulsed by dishonest tolerance and acceptance.

At the same time I am revolted by intolerance and judgmentalism.

How can that be, you may ask?

Well, it’s sort of like this…

Tolerance is all well and good when speaking in generalities. Tolerance for religious belief, race, sexual orientation, social status or gender, for example, is a good thing.

It’s ridiculous to judge someone based upon what they look like, the job they do, their income, the day they go to church or if they go to church, who they fuck or how rowdy they get when they’re fucking.

And yet we’re all judgmental. We like and dislike things, agree and disagree with the things people do. So absolute tolerance is just as ridiculous as the aforementioned prejudice. Tolerance for the sake of being a tolerant person, for the sake of being politically correct…

It’s just as fucked up as hating all Catholics or all Mexican men.

We’re simply not all going to like one another. We’re going to meet people and judge them by the things they say or the things they do, by their words and their actions and their intent.

Different, you see, than judging for whom someone is. (Is it whom or who? Gah. I forget my grammar so easily these days.)

And yet so many claim, especially in this lifestyle, that we must not judge. We must be tolerant of everyone. And it’s all a load of crap. It’s dishonest.

Of course we’re not going to banish those who eat shit or fuck gerbils. We’re not going to out them or picket their place of employment. Not going to phone up their mother and their priest and give them the direct cut at the next dungeon party.

We’re going to tolerate their existence and their right to make their own choices. But we’re still going to judge them. We’re going to find eating shit to be loathsome and disgusting, fucking gerbils to be distasteful and weird.

And, yanno what?

If I were a gerbil fucker I’d much prefer to hear you tell me you think I’m not right in the head to being given a line of bull about how “it’s not your thing but, of course, it’s okay that it’s mine and would I like your daughter’s pet gerbil for next time and how dare that other asshole tell you you’re weird? Don’t they know we mustn’t judge?????”

Dishonest tolerance. The bane of my existence.

I suppose it’s why I get in so many conflicts on forums.

I refuse to participate in the dishonest, blind and absolute tolerance like the rest of the sheep.

If I’m disgusted by submissives who’ve chosen BDSM as a way to dump all their bad choices and fucked up messes into the lap of their dominant, a way to abdicate personal responsibility and just be “taken care of”…

Well, then I’m disgusted by them. Yes, I’ve judged them.

Not for who they are. For their actions.

Pretending tolerance just makes me a hypocrite.

And yet, I do tolerate them. I don’t seek them out and stone them, don’t drag them behind my truck for miles, don’t refuse them jobs or housing, don’t harass and persecute them.

I tolerate them as people with the right to make whatever choices they deem right for themselves.

I judge their actions, tolerate their right to those actions.

To claim their actions are “okay” with me would be dishonest. False acceptance.

To judge them as a person would be foolish. A single set of actions doesn’t make a whole person.

Am I making any sense at all here?

I guess I’m still thinking about the very judgmental comment I got yesterday.

I get told, all the time, that I’m judgmental and intolerant.

And I guess, in my head, I keep comparing the way I am (which I consider to be honest and blunt and unwilling to waste time pandering to weaker sensibilities) to the comment.

And the comment…

It irked me. Not because it judged me but because it basically judged anyone who does manual labor as uneducated, unable to be in control and incapable of having a lasting, happy relationship. It didn’t judge my actions. It judged my financial status. It made assumptions based upon prejudice without taking anything else into account.

Different, I think, than judging someone’s actions.

Intolerant of me as a person and of an entire class of people rather than intolerant of the actions of a person.

My moral compass tells me I can judge a person’s actions but not judge them as a person based upon a single action.

And yet at the same time I’d actually rather get crappy comments that are honest opinion - even if that opinion is based upon prejudice and assumption - than dishonest tolerance and acceptance.

I dunno.

I’m rambling on and on and I’ve lost my point.

Gah.

Perhaps it’s all very simple.

Perhaps we all need to employ a bit more honesty and not try to “get along” with everyone, cease chanting tolerance and you must not judge for long enough to actually be tolerant and make fair, accurate and honest judgments?

Like and dislike as you will. Be blunt, be honest, quit kissing ass and acting like a politician. But pick on what someone has done or said, not who they are. And know what the hell you’re talking about before you open your mouth.

Call me a bitch if I’m being bitchy. Tell me it makes you want to hurl knowing Taylor has scarred my back with a single tail. But don’t judge me based on assumptions and prejudice.

And perhaps I’ve rambled long enough.

I swear, I’ll talk about something dark and sexy soon.