A Wee Ponder
I’ve been pondering lately about the mix of hard and soft in BDSM.
For me, in the relationship I’m in, I want both. I want the cruelty and the pain and the degradation and the lack of power. But I want love and affection and attention, as well. Sweetness and caring, soft touches and snuggles all jumbled in with the beatings and gruffness and surrender to his will. Greedy, hmmm?
I think most of us want this.
There are certainly some few who thrive upon total hardness, upon next to no affection and constantly remaining in their place.
But most of us…
We want it all, right?
And I think that’s a hard balance to find, sometimes.
Hard for the dominant to switch each aspect on and off and hard for the submissive to accept the changes.
Hard to be in sync with who needs which at any given moment.
Luckily Taylor and I have such a realistic relationship it’s not so very difficult to understand and accept either hard or soft. It’s never strange or jarring to go from one to the other.
But, jeez, it sure is hard to be in sync at times. For me, anyhow.
Doesn’t help that so often when we just crave some snuggles and soft touches he gets aroused doing it. LOL. So it turns into something else - which leaves me feeling a little like I didn’t exactly get what I needed.
Doesn’t help, either, that both needs will war inside me at the same time so that I’m not really happy with either!
I’ve said it before…
Submissive women are some of the neediest bitches out there. Even the strongest of us have mad needs that are complicated and difficult to fulfill completely.
No real point to this, no real conclusions. Just some pondering that travels the old road to nowhere. (Mostly cuz kaya said I must write to keep her entertained. Hehe)
